Scene One
Science Lab
MARY JANE: Jeepers, Peter Parker! Thanks for helping me make up this science lab.
PETER: Ah, uh... it...
MARY JANE: I dont know what Id ever do without you, Peter!
PETER: Ah, umah, ah, ah
MARY JANE: Jeepers! I cant get this thingy to focus.
PETER: Its um, ah, called ahhh micum
MARY JANE: Do you think you could help me, Peter?
PETER: Well, um, er
MARY JANE: Just come up behind me and adjust it until its focused.
PETER: (Mouths Thank You while folding his hands in prayer and looking up. He then stands behind MARY JANE and adjusts the microscope.) Well, its, ah, simple
MARY JANE: Thanks, Peter, youre so smart!
PETER: Well, ah, um
MARY JANE: And youre such a good conversationalist too, Peter!
PETER: Uh, ah, er
MARY JANE: I think I should be able to handle things now. Ill call you back when I need you.
PETER: Ah, umwell
MARY JANE: Oh, before you go, could you get the amoeba slide for me?
PETER: Ye-ah, um (He walks stage right to get the slide, but breaks into song instead. He sings, Mary Jane, Baby.)
Mary Jane, Baby (to the tune of Build Me Up Buttercup)
Why cant you notice me, (notice me)
Mary Jane baby
You let me down, (let me down)
And mess me around.
And then worst of all, (worst of all)
You pay more attention to the amoebas (amoebas)
But I love you still!
I WANT you! (I want you!)
More than the coolest pocket protectors
(Mary Jane interrupts)
MARY JANE: I hate to interrupt, but Peter, who are you singing to?
PETER: Uhsorrywell(He grabs a slide.) er(He starts to walk back to MARY JANE, very unsure of himself.) Well, Ive been meaning toUh, noI want toUh, what I, no(With a burst of confidence, PETER walks briskly to MARY JANE. They stand face to face very close to each other.) Mary Jane, I need to say something!
MARY JANE: Yes, Peter?
PETER: (Suddenly, he has lost his confidence.) Ah, er
MARY JANE: Well, Peter, I need to say something too!
PETER: Uh, yes, Mary Jane?
MARY JANE: See, when you stand so close to me, like this(She too becomes uncertain of herself.) Ithe thing is... (The action rises, along with their voices.)
PETER: Yes, Mary Jane?
MARY JANE: Jeepers! I dont want you to take this the wrong way.
PETER: Dont worry, I wont.
MARY JANE: Peter, I
PETER: Yes?
MARY JANE: Peter?
PETER: Yes?
MARY JANE: Peter Parker, I
PETER: Yes, Mary Jane?
MARY JANE: (By now their voices should be shouting.) Youre standing on my foot!
PETER: I love you too!
MARY JANE: (She steps back and is speaking in normal volume now.) What did you say?
PETER: UhUm Heres that amoeba slide!
MARY JANE: Jeepers! Peter! Thanks! Youre such a great guy. (She goes back to the microscope after taking the slide from PETER.)
PETER: Actually, uh, no! (His confidence returns.) Mary Jane, what I want to know is
MARY JANE: Yeah, Peter?
PETER: So, uh, what are your plans for tonight? You know, after youre finished with your lab?
MARY JANE: Actually, I have to wash my hair tonight. (She flips her hair and knocks over the nearby spider cage.) Jeepers! I hope thats not anything important!
PETER: Oh no, not at all, Mary Jane. It was just Professor Zings radioactive pet spider.
MARY JANE: Okay, if its nothing important, Im going to leave then.
PETER: AhUm
MARY JANE: Bye Peter! Thanks a lot! (She exits stage left.)
PETER: Here, spider, spider. Come here little radioactive spider! (He whistles.) Here, spider, spider! Where are you little spidey? (He trips over the cage and falls on his rear.) I sure hope the spider doesnt bite me! Especially on the AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
